Summer break started this week at our house and that means more time than normal for my kids! They get their share of hanging out with friends, swimming at the pool and attending camps, but the one thing I have found to be very important during summer is chores.
Don’t get me wrong, my kids don’t just do chores in the summer, they do them year round. In the summer, though, they have a heftier list of chores. Over the years, I have found that summer is a great time for me to spend teaching the kids how to do some of the household chores they haven’t done during the school year and that they are old enough to do since the previous summer. Some examples of things we are going to work on this year are: doing the laundry (before this summer, they just folded and put away), more cooking skills, using the lawn edger and a few more other odds and ends.
Why our Kids Should do Age Appropriate Chores
One thing I have noticed from many families whose kids are heavy into sports is that they use the excuse of “the kids are too busy” to assign them chores. As a sports mom, I know just HOW busy these kids are! But I truly feel it’s important to still make sure my kids are helping out around the house. Doing chores teaches them so many things, that I can’t afford to not give my kids chores. Kids learn perseverance, good habits, responsibility and self-motivation.
The younger you start chores with your kids the better! These chores will become a part of their daily routine and be a habit that they will carry with them into adulthood. What better way could you teach your kids from a young age self-sufficiency?
A few months back, over on my other blog, I shared a chore system that works well for our family. It’s just a simple chore chart where my kids earn money on a daily basis.
The money they earn goes in an envelope and at the end of 2 weeks (where they could have earned up to $10), they divide up their money into the following;
- 10% tithe to church
- 40% savings to the bank
- 50% spend/keep
I titled the chore chart “Instant Gratification” because they can grab the dollar they earned for the day when their chores are done….but truly, it’s not instant gratification because they don’t actually get their money for 2 weeks. Let me tell you, the controversy over the name of the chore chart hit the roof! Feel free to read the comments on the post here.
Everyone has an opinion. I think it’s great that we can all share our opinions and take bits and pieces from what each person shares!
My hope is that we parents don’t make excuses for our sports kids and skip giving them chores. Take the time to instill a work ethic both on and off the field. Feel free to use the chore system I created or a different one that fits your family best!
Do you ever have trouble deciding what chores to have your kids do at home? We created an age appropriate list to help you assign chores to your kids this summer. Feel free to print it out, hang it on your fridge or add it to your family planning binder. You can grab the download link below.
How do you teach the younger ones chores? Do you walk around with them to make sure they are doing the chores until they get into the habit?
Jess, it will take some coaching from you at first with most ages. You will need to show them how to do the job and help them the first couple of times, but after that hopefully they will get the hang of it! 🙂
Thanks for the age appropriate list! I am always second guessing myself on what my kids should be able to do and it looks like we are on the page 🙂 Thanks!!
I love this! Practical question though: I happen to have four children, ages 6, 4, 3 and 1. Any tips on how to focus on helping each of them learn and then complete their chores without finding the entire rest of the house a disaster?
I love this list. We have been making our 3 do chores for a while. Sometimes easily and sometimes not. In addition to other tasks our 5 year old makes his lunch for school. I use a lot of pre-packaged things (applesauce, fruit cups, cheese sticks, hummus and pb cups) that he can grab and put in. If needed we help by cutting up apples and packaging things for dipping. His sisters will help him make a sandwich when necessary.
That’s great, Kelly! If we set high expectations for our kids, they will meet them!
I like these…..but no way is my 9 year old cutting the grass or cutting veggies with a knife!
It’s funny, with my first son I would have said the same thing, but by the time the 3rd boy rolled along he did everything at a much earlier age than the other two. Part of it was because he wanted to keep up with his brothers and the other part is that I realized I needed to let him try things…supervised of course. He mowed our grass at age 9 and started a cooking class at age 6 (and he has his own knives that are kid friendly–have you seen a lettuce knife? it’s perfect for elementary age kids!)!
I disagree with the whole concept. Let our kids be great at being kids. Strictly stick to school work during school months. After school activities such as music, dance/sport, and community service is enough. They still have homework and still need to eat and really need to spend time with their family. And SLEEP. They do not get enough sleep.
During the summer months let your kids go swimming at the pool and ride bikes with neighborhood friends and climb trees. Give them a nice interesting fun summer reading list and Summer Solutions in math each morning after breakfast for a bit jut to keep their brains at speed. Kids need a life of academics, fun exercise, community-based services and relaxed family togetherness. Hire a housekeeper and spend all that chore time with your kids for Pete’s sake. Don’t use them and exploit them. Those poor babies.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Let me tell you, since she was around 3 years old or so, my 10 year-old daughter has always asked me, “Mommy, can I help you?” Every day. I do not lie. She willingly and of her own volition asks to do the same work on your list but the difference is that she does it out of a loving, generous heart, since she is NOT BEING BULLIED to do it . Also, she doesn’t ever expect money for being helpful. But my husband and I do often reward her thoughtful actions with small gifts that she loves. Appropriate to the size of the kindness she showed.
It comes down to exactly what the writer put in the article: self sufficiency. I cannot tell you how many kids go off to college without any inkling on how to live on their own and take care of themselves. The WORST roommates I’d have were always the ones that didn’t do chores around the house previously and had their parents or housekeepers clean up or cook for them. They were always the ones asking me to iron their shirt for them, asking how to cook something as simple as spaghetti, or even how often to wash their towel (and HOW to use a washer)!
Chores help a kid become independent. I’m not saying fill their lives with chores, but they do need to learn how to do things. Once i lived on my own I was always grateful that my transition from my parents place to an apartment was so smooth.
I reiterate that my daughter does a lot of the same things on the list (but of her own volition and not from being forced) so she is gaining hands-on experience as she grows, and each of the things she will need to know how to do when she goes to college is being taught to her with no pressure, and in a gentle, loving environment. Let me share a scenario. One day I was cutting vegetables. My daughter was watching me and asked if she could learn how to do it. I said, “sure.” I gave her a cutting board and a smaller knife to suite the size of her hands, and gave her a cucumber since they are easier to start out with. I took the same setup on my own cutting board and showed her what to do. She mirrored my actions. Before long, every day for supper she offered to cut the vegetables for the salad. When she first saw me setting the table, she asked if I could show her how. I said “sure.” I showed her how, and now she likes to play “restaurant” at dinner every day, even taking “orders” on a notepad from the patrons. The menu is what I am making, but she helps me serve it and take it to the table, and when we are finished eating she jumps up and is clearing the table without being told before I have even pushed my own chair in. This is all because I have never forced her to do these things. She asked and I casually said “sure.” When I teach her, I start out simple, and then build on it each time, filling in the gaps myself until she decides she wants to learn that part. She really wants to clean the toilets because she thinks the blue color of the solution is cool, and the scent, and the whole brush thing is fascinating, but I have declined to allow this, warning her that she is too small physically, too close to the splashes of the water, and if it splashed in her eyes, she could suffer damage. When she is bigger physically, perhaps, but really, she knows some things should be left for the housekeepers for now. The closer she gets to going to college, the more I will talk to her about being able to take care of herself, and teach her whatever things are left. By then her understanding about it all will be much more mature.
Although some kids, like your own, may want to learn on their own and volunteer to do such things, as a former educator I can assure you that most children could benefit from having more responsibility (age appropriate just as the author has suggested) at a younger age. Most children that are not given expectations and taught responsibility grow up feeling entitled and believe that things should just be given to them instead of earned.
Interesting reading. I have never wrote back to any of these blogs before….but this one has caught my interest enough I’m giving it a shot.
I’m curious, do you have just the one daughter or more children? I think you have a few more liberties when there are less kids. (But I don’t live that life, so I’m guessing. Obviously with everything their are plusses and minuses!). I certainly agree with the comment on personalities of children. But I do think over all children do have that natural desire to please and want to help. You will see this more ages 3-7 grab it then and develop it then. Are you too late if older – no way! Not saying that. What you are doing with your daughter is GREAT! BUT reality for a family of multiple kids (I have 4) you just do not have the liberty of time with them separately. I’m not complaining this was our choice….well some of it (but we won’t give the others away 😉 Giving them all chores brings about unity in the house, build’s responsibility, and frankly gives me more time WITH THEM or my husband in the end. Teaches them to work together for a common goal. The comment about the get a maid, that is just impossible for many and I won’t get into that.
Giving money too them, that is a personal choice. In my house, it is just part of living here. No allowance. But those that do, hey I get that idea too. We give $ for stuff outside of the everyday when it arrises and mainly because I WANT them to learn how to manage money. I care about it as a teaching tool more then they get spending money. NO one is getting bullied here. I would dare say that the others commenting on the pro of chores are not either. Could it be like that? As parents could we make a crazy list for the kids, scream at them, throw our weight around….yes AND THAT would be horrible exploitation and bulling. You are right. But I venture again to say…..this is not even close to what is happening. We are just trying train up our children to be viable citizens. As it sounds you are doing that well too. If a list is out there to allow mom or dad to stay sane I say GO FOR IT! I just brought out the “get ready in the morning list” for my kids again. Whew! if you repeat yourself enough times it gets old fast. I let the list do the work NOT ME. I’m a happier camper and so much more positive with them, and so are they – their are smiles in the morning by all again! Same thing with the chore list.
I’m a mom of 3 boys, and 1 girl. Ages 9-4. And I’m very confident to say they get lots of play time and ability to be kids around my home, even with a “to do list”.
Can you explain more about you’re getting ready in the morning list? Is that already posted somewhere and I am missing it? Thanks so much,
Encouraged already,
Heidi
I’d have to agree with the people responding to your comment. My daughter is 5 and has had no chores, she will at times ask to learn things or ask to help but most times it’s a battle if you ask her to help or do anything. I’ve already seen the entitlement issues with her and I’ve started feeling like a failure as a parent. I had probably more responsibility thrown on me as a young child then most teenagers and I refused to do that to my baby. I wanted her to be a kid and not have to worry about anything. It kind of bit me in the butt lol. We are getting ready to move and when we do we will be starting chores. Nothing crazy that will take her play and kid time away from her, but enough to teach her responsibility and to teach her how to be self sufficient. I don’t think people should go overboard but I think a little responsibility is healthy for a child.
You may want to correct the spelling of preperation to preparation on the 9-11 chart.
Thanks for catching that, John! We got it fixed!
Given that I am a twelve year old, I don’t think the grocery list is a very good idea…
I agree with kids having chores and most of what you say. Our children are from 2 to 9 yrs old and all do have chores some similar to your list, but we don’t pay ours, and our reason is that each of us are part of this family and we all need to contribute in some way or another, besides we don’t get paid for all our house hold chores. Our kids don’t complain about it and are very happy to get involved, they truley get great self satisfaction when they have completed their chores, except the 2 year old she just thinks it’s a game and happy she won the game.
I think this is a great idea. I don’t pay my kids to do things that they ought to be doing anyway, but I do give incentives now and then. I like the age appropriate list. Our responsibility as parents is to teach our kids how to be independent and that requires that they learn how to keep a house. Most people can’t afford to pay a housekeeper, or I would LOVE to do that. I am finally learning the satisfaction of keeping a clean house. When I was growing up, in a way, I wasn’t living in the real world. My mom did everything for us. I did learn how to cook some things, and do some cleaning, but I didn’t learn enough. It was my parents’ responsibility and mine for me to learn how to do things, and it didn’t get done. I was married young, and suddenly had to know how to do laundry. I could fold, but not use a washer. I wasn’t very good at doing dishes by hand, sweeping, or weeding. Now I have kids and I cannot keep my house clean, even though I really wish I could. I know one of my solutions is to get help from everyone who makes the messes (kids) and teach them at the same time. I really wish I could have learned this responsibility, and talents of housekeeping before I was on my own. I have felt for the last decade that I am behind those in my same family situation, and can never catch up, because I had to teach myself how to clean a tub, a shower, a toilet, etc. For the most part, I either watched someone else do it when I was young, or I just thought it stayed clean all the time, because my mom did it while I was at school. When I had a big test, a paper, or just lots of homework (every week night) my mom didn’t ask me to do any chores. That wasn’t living in the real world, and I wish I would have been required to do certain things, at least part of the time. Please do teach your children. They will be grateful later.
At what age do you start PAYING? My daughter just turned 3 and we’ve been doing a couple of the early chores, but not paying her or anything. Isn’t some of it just being part of the family/household/team that you do the work without expecting a ‘reward’ for it?
Rachel, the money part all has to do with your child. If your kid isn’t motivated by money than no amount of allowance will get them to want to do their chores. Yes, I think certain chores should just be part of living within the family and others can be “extras”, but that’s just my opinion. 🙂
I love this idea. I’m a homeschoolong mom to 3 girls. We have also had the problem of forgetting to pay because we couldn’t keep track of if then did everything that was asked of them over 2 weeks(hubby’s pay cycle). Then they would lose motivation. I lose consistency in the for of frustration and on and on. We can’t however afford to pay them $10. That’s $60 a month. It might not sound like much but every cent is a factor in our household budget. Wish I COULD do something to earn money from home. I think we would have to do something closer to $.50 a day. And what do you think about younger not earning as much as older? Or are you paying more for the effort thats put forth? So if my 5yo is working diligently on her assigned tasks and doing her best, even though she can’t do the same level of difficult chores as my 12 and 10 yo…should she get the same pay?
My opinion would be to increase the “wage” as their skills and tasks increase. This is similar to how an employee would get raises in their job: as they get better at the job, and take on more tasks (a.k.a. increasing responsibility), they get an increase in their wage. This way, the older kids don’t feel cheated because they do so much more for less or equal pay. Also, as wages increase, the things they are required to spend their own money on could increase, too, in order to teach them how to manage their money and budget. For example, a 5-year-old who earns $2.50 per week would not be able to buy her own school shoes and clothes, supplies, etc; it would take her forever to save up for those items. Requiring her to use her own money for toys or treats (outside of birthdays or special events), though, would be more on target. A teen, on the other hand, especially nearing college-age, could very well be expected to use their own money if they wanted name-brand clothing (instead of the basics that the parents are willing to buy), or to pay for half of their school supplies. By the time the child is on their own, they should have learned how to manage their money and budget for bills, as well as save.
Great advice!!
Hi!
I think this is a great idea! We have three kids, ages 9-11, and they have been helping/doing household chores since they were toddlers. We started with small things like picking up their toys and have gradually added to the list each year.
In the last couple of years, we began talking more about money and would like to teach them when given the opportunity, to show them how to manage it. This is a simple and easy way for them to value money since they earn it and it will also allow us time to share how to save and spend it.
THANK YOU!!!
Cindy, I’m so glad we could help!!
Can I ask what you have daily for your kids to do on your picture? Thanks so much.
Sure, there are things like make bed, walk dog, feed the dog, fill the birdbath, water the flower (obviously in the summer only!), clean kid bathroom, sweep wood floors, pick up room, empty dehumidifier, etc….Hope that helps?
My children have always had chores, it’s about learning § taking responsibility. When both parents work, I think a child can & should maybe peel the veg when home from school, homework first but we are a team & that’s an important lesson to learn.
My kids had picket money, but this wasn’t based on chores, pocket money was for them to learn how to manage money so they didn’t keep asking for money, they had to budget, chores were done regardless.
Children need to learn all these important lessons as much as learning to read, write etc. Life skills